The Misadventures of The Avengers
by Plumcicle
Summary: A series of oneshots for the Avengers. Updates will be irregular. Latest story: Fishes Out of Water. Thor and Steve try to figure out modern Earth technology together. Cover art by ecokitty.
1. Fishes Out of Water

Thor was a mystical god from an entire different realm who was thought to be a legend and didn't understand a single thing on how anything from Earth even worked, especially modern-day technology.

Steve was technically over ninety-nine years old and was from the years World War II was going on and also had no idea how anything on Earth worked, similar to Thor's problems. They weren't that different from each other actually.

They were both fish out of water. Like little toddlers, still understanding how this strange world worked. Maybe they could work it out together?

* * *

Thor had decided to pay a visit to Midgard for a little bit. It had been a while since the Battle of New York and things had calmed down a bit more. Coming to Earth also gave him a chance to see his fellow Avengers. He hadn't spoken to them in quite some time, and he was looking forward to catching up with his comrades.

Currently, he was sitting on the kitchen stool, snacking on a pop tart Tony had so graciously offered.

"Someone likes pop tarts," Natasha commented as she strolled into the kitchen, clearly still not fully awake. Her hair was a mess, not like its usual wavy style. "The entire box is already almost gone."

Tony furrowed his brow. "Jeez Point Break, do they feed you in Asgard? That's your second box."

"Of course they do," Thor replied. "Humans just have very feeble meals compared to what we have on Asgard. It makes sense why you're all so small now."

Tony gaze him a look as if he was hurt by his words, clutching his chest. "Excuse me? _Tiny?"_

"You are pretty short," Natasha said, backing up Thor.

Before Tony could respond with a comeback, Steve walked in, wearing a plain white t-shirt. He seemed like he had been up for a while, maybe training or he had gone for a run, since he was drenched in sweat.

"Where've you been, Capsicle? You look like you're melting," Tony said. "Just a question, do you have a life that doesn't revolve around training, exercising, and saving the world? It's just a thought that's been in my head," he added. Steve rolled his eyes.

"Yes, I have a life. Thanks for asking," he responded. He was used to these kinds of questions from Tony by now. All of the Avengers were.

Steve put some vegetables, fruits, and poured some milk into a blender, getting ready to make a smoothie. Tony, yet again, opened his mouth to ask another question.

"Do you ever eat anything unhealthy? Your diet seems to only have smoothies, salad, fruit, vegetables, and anything else that falls under the healthy category. Have you ever had anything besides that, like a cookie? If the answer's no, then I think Cookie Monster would be very upset."

Steve and Thor shared a confused look, which they had gotten used to doing when they were around Tony and the other Avengers, who would make random modern day references just to annoy the two.

"There's a monster of cookies? Does it need to be slain?" Thor questioned, clearly concerned about the topic. Bruce sighed and shook his head.

"No, no. It's just from a TV show for little kids called Sesame Street," he explained. "He's a character on the show obsessed with eating cookies."

Natasha glanced over at Thor and the pop tart box. "Reminds me of someone else I know. Just replace cookies with pop tarts," she said. Thor scowled at her. If looks could kill, then she'd be dead on the floor right now.

Even though Steve was planning on catching up with the rest of the world, he never seemed to have the time. No, that was a lie, a guy from the past had a lot of time on his hands. So, he really didn't know the reason he hadn't. He had seen some things though, like that violent game Call of Duty, and that movie series that was actually based off of books called Lord of The Rings. There was also Harry Potter, but he had only seen the movies. Clint had insisted that he watched the _Star Wars_ movies, and he had to admit, they weren't too bad. Despite that, he still had a long ways to go to fully catch up with the rest of the world.

Thor, on the other hand, was unfamiliar with everything Earth. He didn't understand how to send e-mails, texts, and all of the other tech-stuff. It was annoying when his friends (minus Steve) talked about little things that any other human on the planet would understand. He wanted to catch up with everyone, he really did, but he didn't even know where to start.

"Where is Clint?" Thor asked, deciding to change the topic.

"He's on a private mission," Natasha replied, glancing over at him. She was the only one who really knew he was spending time with his wife, Laura.

"Mm, well that's great," Tony mused. He was pouring a cup of coffee, as usual. "Now if anyone needs me, I'll be in my lab." It wasn't anything unusual. Tony spent most of the hours of the day in there. So, they just all went back to their normal morning activities.

* * *

Thor later found Steve trying to work what he believed was called an "iPhone." He raised an eyebrow, looking over Steve's shoulder. "What are you doing?" He asked. The super soldier didn't take his eyes off of the device.

"Trying to figure out how things work. I'm guessing you're not too sure either."

Thor nodded. "That is correct," he said.

"Well, wanna join me?" He asked. This time, he turned to face the God of Thunder. Thor thought about it for a few moments before sitting down beside Steve.

"Sure," he said. He looked at the screen, mesmerized by it. It was something so small, yet it carried so much information that Thor could only imagine. From what he had been told, phones could tell the time, pull up videos, and answer your every question just by using something called "Google." It was fascinating. "So, humans let this small thing tell them what to do?" He questioned.

Steve looked lost. "Apparently these days they do," he sighed. He began to scroll through the phone, looking at various pictures of things titled with captions, aka memes. Steve's face scrunched up in confusion, as did Thor's.

"I do not understand, what is Tinder? And why are there so many photographs of cats? Who is this yellow sponge?" He rambled, the questions rolling off his tongue. Steve was as lost as he was and began to press random links to websites, which took him to a suspicious looking one that began have ads pop-up all over the place.

Panic crossed their faces as they saw things like _Win a new car!_ or any other scams that existed on the Internet.

"Stop pressing-"

"I'm not pressing anymore!"

"Your thumb is still on the screen, you are pressing it still."

"No, I am _lifting_ my thumb _away!_"

To end the madness once in for all, Thor snatched the phone from Steve's hand and chucked it far, far away, leaving it to its fate of being smashed onto the ground. Tony would be very disappointed in them. They should be preparing for a lecture if the billionaire ever found out about this. He didn't like it when people broke his stuff.

Thor and Steve glanced at each other, silence passing between the two. Thor slowly stood up and Steve did the same.

"I think I'll stick to flip phones," Steve commented. Thor raised an eyebrow.

"What are flip phones?" He asked.

Steve sighed. "Nevermind."

* * *

Later, all of the Avengers (except for Clint) were all chilling together in the living room. It wasn't anything special. Sometimes, they all just sat together in a comfortable silence.

"So, where have you two been?" Natasha asked. She glanced towards Steve and Thor, who snapped their heads in her direction. The two Avengers shared a look that lasted for a moment or two before responding.

"We were just seeing what new sights Midgard had," Thor responded quickly. Steve nodded a little too enthusiastically, causing Natasha to raise an eyebrow. But, she didn't say anything else on the matter. It was just another normal day for the Avengers.


	2. Night Terrors

Tony was always the Avenger who seemed to get the least sleep. The team doesn't think anything of it, really. Then again, none of the Avengers knew about the suits Tony constantly had on guard during the times he did sleep. None of the Avengers knew about the times Tony would wake up, panic flowing through him. None one knew, and Tony didn't bother to tell them. He didn't see the point.

So far, he was doing a pretty good job of keeping the truth from them.

* * *

Usually, Tony was one of the first of the Avengers who were awake. This time, no one saw him until ten in the morning, which was odd for the billionaire. Most of the time, he was up by six and already ready to start the day. So when Tony finally did wake up, he looked pretty shaken and tired.

"Welcome back to the world of the living," Clint said sarcastically. "Where've you been, your lab?"

It took Tony a few moments to respond. "Yeah," he said finally. "Yeah, let's go with that." He looked away from the group and put some toast in the toaster. Clint and Natasha exchanged a look, clearly knowing something was up. But, they didn't say anything else about it.

Tony had never been a big toast person, so they wondered what was up. Usually, he settled for some coffee. Sometimes he stole a pop tart from Thor, but that was only sometimes. He had coffee every day. Maybe he had gotten it before everyone else woke up.

After he got his toast, he began to leave again.

"Are you going back to your lab?" Bruce asked him. Tony stopped and turned around.

"Uh, yeah. I've got some work I need to finish," he said quickly and took a bite of toast. "It's pretty important and stuff, so I gotta get g-"

Natasha raised an eyebrow. "Important like you're just going to keep working on your suits?" She asked. He didn't say anything for a few seconds.

"Yeah, that's the plan. You got a problem with it, Romanoff?" He challenged, his voice having an edge to it. When she didn't answer, he turned his back on them and left. It left the other Avengers feeling uneasy. Sure, Tony could be difficult and arrogant, but he was never snappy like that. Now they definitely knew that something was bothering him. They just had to figure out what. How they would do that however, was something they had not yet figured out.

"Has Tony said anything that would give us any hints over the past few days?" Steve asked, determined to get to the bottom of this.

Bruce shook his head. "Not really, no. Tony's just been being Tony."

Natasha thought for a few moments before agreeing. "I can't think of anything else either. So whatever this is, it must've happened last night."

Clint snorted. "He probably just had a falling out with Pepper or something," he said. Natasha tilted her head, acknowledging the possibility. Although, no matter how many times those two disagreed, they still came back to each other, so it couldn't be that.

"And if it's not?" Bruce countered. Clint didn't answer. No one else said a word.

* * *

It's now late at night, late enough for a normal person to be asleep. But Clint is still awake. He's practicing firing his new arrows that Tony had made for him a few weeks ago. The simple trick to hitting his target was to imagine that it was Loki's face, which just made it even more fun to do.

The arrow he fired was suppose to electric the target when hit, but it wasn't really doing anything. He waited a few more seconds and still, nothing happened. With a sigh, he walked over and cautiously tugged the arrow off, silently willing that when he touched it the arrow wouldn't shock him instead. When nothing happened, he let out a breath of relief he didn't even know he had been holding in. If the arrow wasn't working, then he had to bring it to Tony to fix. After all, he was the one who had made it.

Yawning, he made his way to Tony's door and knocked on it, loud enough to wake Tony but quiet enough to not wake anyone else. The mechanic normally didn't mind being woken up in the middle of the night, and sometimes he was already awake doing who knows what. When the door didn't open, Clint knocked again. "Hey, Tony, you in there?" He called out. This time, the door did open but instead of seeing Tony, Clint was met with an Iron Man suit, palms raised and facing him, repulsor blasters ready to fire.

"Whoa, whoa!" He shouted. "Tony, what the hell are you doing?!" He exclaimed. But, then he realized that Tony seemed to still asleep in his bed, thrashing from side to side, his face twisted in a panic. So, what he was facing now was just another one of his suits. "Tony, wake up!"

Clint's panicked cries finally woke Tony up. He blinks furiously, looking around at his surroundings trying to understand what was going on. When he spotted the suit about to possibly kill Clint, he immediately reacted. "Power down!" He shouted. The life from the armor faded and fell to the ground with a clank, leaving Tony looking at, trying to gasp in ragged breaths.

The shouts had been enough to wake the other Avengers, who came racing from their rooms, ready for anything.

"What happened?" Steve demands. His shield is in his hand, but he's dressed in pajamas, much like the other Avengers.

"Why don't you ask Mr. Iron Man, over there?" Clint hissed. Tony was sitting on the side of his bed, clutching his arc reactor, still trying to breathe. He was drenched in sweat, his eyes filled with fear and uncertainty. That definitely wasn't normal for him.

Bruce was the first one to ask. "Tony, are you okay?"

Tony's head snapped towards their direction, startling him out of whatever state he was in. "Yeah, yeah. I'm fine. The suit was just responding to me, everything's fine, it was protecting me," he insists.

"Protecting you from what?" Steve asks, raising an eyebrow.

Tony shakes his head. "Nothing really, it was just a dream, that's it."

"Well, getting my face almost blown off doesn't feel like just a dream," Clint retorted, crossing his arms.

Tony bit the inside of his cheek and let out a sigh. "Is this something that we can wait until tomorrow to talk about?" He asked a little too hopefully.

"This doesn't really seem like a thing that can wait until tomorrow," Natasha pointed out.

Bruce nodded in agreement. "She's right, Tony."

Tony buried his face in his hands, keeping it there for a few moments longer before he finally stands. "Well, I guess it's time for the grand reveal, huh?" He said, half to them and half to himself. "It's kind of been happening for a while now, ever since the attack on New York. Anyways, I've kind of been having these dreams, more like crazy nightmare-flashbacks-"

"Tony, that sounds a lot like PTSD!" Steve cries. "Why didn't you tell any of us?"

He hesitated for a split second. "I kind of did," he said, but did not elaborate on who it was. "And even after that, it didn't help. So, I wasn't sure what to do. I can't sleep without a suit on guard. I still don't know what to do." He doesn't say anything else after that.

"Well, telling all of us is a good step forward," Steve told him. "We're always here for you, Tony, you know that, right? We're a team."

The saying took a few moments to process inside Tony's mind before he nodded. "Yeah, yeah. We're a team. We're the Avengers."


End file.
